Notes from Switzerland

Ah Switzerland. Four official languages, 3000m+ peaks, 7000 lakes, eight million-ish inhabitants & ten million calories (& that’s just breakfast). Yes with chocolate, Rosti, fondue & mousse flowing as if the Trummelbach Falls onto the nation’s dining tables I found it astounding that there aren’t mini-mountains wandering around everywhere. But there isn’t. Not so this author who found it particularly rude when the Google Maps car tried to log my rapidly expanding co-ordinates.

First rule of Nutella Club…

Don’t ever leave any Nutella!

If that means getting your coffee spoon in there to clean it out then for god’s sake do it. Unlike Fight Club however there is also a useful recommendation…

Rule #2 of Nutella Club. I recommend to not eat two entire sachets of Nutella one after the other. Sickly schoolboy error!

Ride on time

No one would ever say ‘catch ya later’ in Switzerland. It would be ‘catch you at 17:43.08’. You notice it as soon as you arrive at the airport. The airport transfer train clock counts down in seconds and arrives exactly as it goes from 00:01 – 00:00. Back home if you asked someone how long until a transfer you’d be likely to get ‘oh about 10 minutes I reckon & what’s it to you anyway!’ A good example of this uber timekeeping is demonstrated in this image.

I paid for a day of Wifi to clear emails and was impressed with the rather detailed summary of the time I had left. I was actually  rather irritated when I had to leave around 508 minutes & 8 seconds unused  when I checked out

Swollywood.

I haven’t been to Switzerland in about ten years or so and plenty has changed. One thing that is particularly notable is the large number of Indian tourists here. There have been a number of successful Bollywood films produced in Switzerland & Swiss Tourism hasn’t dilli Delhi’d in pouring millions into the Indian market to obvious effect. Now an essential destination Switzerland (in particular the Jungfrau/ Interlaken region) seems to be a real Goa for Indian families.

Fahrt jokes.

Few things in life are assured but there is one certainty.

When an Aussie discovers a word similar to ‘fart’ overseas uproarious laughter will begin and last for, ohh, about six days. Picture the scene at our conference in Zurich where a special tram service was put on for our group that was proudly emblazoned on the front with the term Extrafahrt. Two of the group didn’t sleep for three days. Thank god we didn’t go to Wankdorf on this trip I think we may have had a death & I won’t even mention the reaction to Kunsthaus!!

The next post will be Photos from Switzerland. See you then…

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3 thoughts on “Notes from Switzerland

  1. If you make it to Yorkshire I will but you a beer at 19:30:26. It’s the Queen’s Jubilee and all the English are talking about “bunting”. Snigger snigger. Bunting jokes beat fart jokes every time..

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