Sadly this isn’t the name of an upscale Manhattan media agency but rather a latin term meaning – ones middle ear is very unhappy 😦 One happened to discover said condition upon landing in Hobart, Tasmania about three weeks ago. Suffice to say there was definitely a lot more than just ONE(!) expletive being unleashed by this author as I landed. Ouch!
So off to the doctors I went. What would you reckon might be something you don’t want to hear from a doctor? You know apart from the obvious such as – “you know, you’ll laugh but I’ve blasted well forgotten to reorder the lube, we’re all out. Anyway let’s get started” That aside how about just a good old declaration by doc of…
As he peered into my left ear he further quipped
“Well you’re not flying for a week. You don’t have any travel to do, do you?”
He sounded so upbeat & perky I didn’t have the heart to upset him by telling him that I actually had three flights to make in the next couple of days starting with one…oh, you know, in about three hours!! Oh sorry I should have now more accurately said – I did have some flights to make.
Now ear’s a predicament. What to do?
So let me get this right I mused – I can’t fly. Hmm…”I am vexed” to quote one of my fav lines from Gladiator. Then I went through the standard range of emotions associated with emotional upheaval. Much like when I heard Arrested Development had been axed.
SHOCK – DISBELIEF – DENIAL – PAIN – REFLECTION – (& finally) ACCEPTANCE
But finally there was that acceptance. This could even be the start of an adventure of sorts I thought. You know like the Long Way Round with Ewan McGregor and the other bloke except without a celebrity, or, um motorbikes or any glamour whatsoever, or a film crew or…
DAY 1. Hobart – Melbourne. Car + Overnight Ferry. 730Kms (450 miles)
Two thumbs up if you have NO IDEA what the h&ll you are getting yourself into!
So with the bravado and misplaced glee of a WW1 embarking soldier off I set. From Salamanca Market in Hobart for a three hour drive up to Devonport. There I was to board the Spirit of Tasmania overnight ship to Melbourne. I thought this was sure to be ferry interesting!
Sunshine & tunes (apparently)
The drive was fine. Had the radio blearing but couldn’t really hear it. I was still pretty much deaf in my left ear after the flight. Incident free I arrived in Devonport and my trusty Android phone & Google Maps deposited me at the dock in good time.
My friends know me to not be the world’s greatest fan of cruising. Not that I wish ill on those (and there are MANY millions) that love cruising but it’s just that I’d rather, well – rather kinda do anything else but. So the irony as I boarded wasn’t lost on me but I was at peace and – as mentioned – in that ‘acceptance’ phase after a long drive. It wasn’t until I started to explore amidst the throng on-board that a bead or two of sweat formed on my brow. Wow how lucky was I to have even been able to get on I thought. See for yourself below. Of course it goes without saying that the cold sweats could have also been from the buffet.
PHEW! Just squeezed on…
We docked at 6:30am in Port Melbourne. As I was gathering up my linen and bedding to steal I suddenly noticed a foreboding note on the back of the door.
DO NOT REMOVE ANY BEDDING FROM THIS VESSEL. BEDWARE IS PROTECTED BY ELECTRONIC MONITORING!
Holy man-overboard Batman! – Now that my friends is an Electric Blanket!!
Tune in soon when I travel a further 2800KMs (1730 miles) from Melbourne to Kangaroo Island, South Australia & back just two days later. But that’s in Part 2 – coming soon.